Jennifer Lopez is getting candid about her past relationships and what she’s learned about love over the years.
During her first appearance on SiriusXM’s The Howard Stern Show on Oct. 15, the Kiss of the Spider Woman actress opened up about her romantic life and revealed that, despite her many high-profile relationships and marriages, she doesn’t believe she has ever truly been loved.
When host Howard Stern asked if she’s ever experienced true love, Lopez paused before answering, “No,” though she admitted she has genuinely loved others.
Reflecting on those experiences, the 56-year-old said, “What I learned, it’s not that I’m not lovable — it’s that they’re not capable. … They don’t have it in them. And they gave me what they had. They gave me all of it, every time. All the rings, all the things I could ever want. The houses, the rings, the marriage. All of it. But…”
The singer and actress, who has been married four times, including most recently to Ben Affleck, said the root of her struggles in love came from within.
“I didn’t love myself,” she admitted.
Lopez, who shares 17-year-old twins Max and Emme with ex-husband Marc Anthony, said that her most recent divorce became a turning point.
“When I got divorced this last time, it was the best thing that ever happened to me,” she said.
“Because it really made me journey into— I mean, I had a religious coach, I had a therapist, a couple’s therapist, an individual therapist, I had a coach to understand addiction. I had everything. I was like, ‘I’m gonna f—in’ figure this s— out if it kills me.’”
Through that process, she discovered a hard truth, “The core of the thing is you — it’s nobody else.”
Now, Lopez says she’s reached a place of peace and self-acceptance.
“I’m able to sit here in a much more self-assured, self-aware way of the things that have happened to me… and know who I am and just really appreciate that person,” she said.
“[I] feel really comfortable and good in being myself, all the good parts and all the kind of complicated things.”
When Stern asked if she’s ever had that kind of mutual love with someone, Lopez replied simply, “Glimpses.”
He responded, “I wish that for you,” and Lopez smiled, thanking him.
Just a week earlier, Lopez had spoken about her reputation as a romantic during an appearance on Las Culturistas, explaining that her belief in love has shaped much of her life and career.
“I can fall in love with anybody,” she joked, before clarifying that her openness comes from being a “true romantic.”
Reflecting on her chemistry with a variety of co-stars over the years, from Matthew McConaughey to Ralph Fiennes, Lopez added, “I’m able to kind of see through this and get to kind of like who is the person on the inside and really fall in love with that person in that moment, like they say, in between action and cut.”
Her reflections on both podcasts show a woman who, after decades in the spotlight and in love, has finally learned the most important relationship of all, the one she has with herself.
